Talk(s)
by A big admirer of time
Summary: This is what happens when you choose a movie longer than two hours for movie night. It's also something that happens when you shoot someone. And when you first kiss your crush. Talking's sorta complex, you know?
1. Sleepover

This was completely normal.

There was nothing weird about a sleepover between two friends. It was just that their _totally not weird_ movie night had stretched out longer than either had expected and it wouldn't have made sense for him to make a half an hour trip back to his apartment that late at night.

The offer for him to stay had been made purely out of practicality and the fact her ears had flushed had nothing to do with it.

She'd tried to tease him; told him that he was a real nightmare to deal with at work whenever he was especially tired.

Her seemingly timid and unsure behavior whilst doing so had simply been the result of wishful thinking on his part- as had the change in her scent.

 _'Yup, this is just a_ nooormal _thing for friends to do,'_ he thought. ' _You're just embarrassing yourself by getting so high-strung about it.'_

An all-too-small inflatable mattress paired with a thin blanket and a sofa cushion wasn't what Nick considered to be the ideal sleeping conditions, and being mere feet away from his partner did little to calm his racing mind.

The fox had to put a lot of effort into staying still. The last thing he wanted to do was to wake the peaceful bunny up just because he couldn't stay put.

* * *

Judy was a mess.

Trying to keep herself absolutely still as to not wake up the peacefully sleeping fox on the floor next to her bed, she wondered how she'd got there. In her life, that is.

She was a rabbit.

A rabbit who'd deliberately had her fox friend stay over at her place for a night.

Her fox friend who she felt all sorts of warm and nice things for.

She wondered what her mom would think if she saw the bizarre scene that was her tiny shoebox of an apartment. Or even worse, if she knew what sort of bizarre scenes had gone through her mind for the past who knows how many months.

How soft would that gorgeous russet tail feel in her paws? Or how it would feel to cuddle into his cream colored fluffy chest in the middle of a cold winter night? How it would feel to have his paws and claws roam over every square inch of her body and-

She heard the faint beat coming from his direction fasten in rhythm. His breathing was also rather shallow.

 _'Is he having a nightmare?'_

The faintest of whimpers cut through the silent atmosphere of the room and the bunnies ears sprung to full attention.

As if she hadn't been tempted enough before to just turn to her other side and creepily watch her best friend sleep in the dark.

Which, after a good moment of hesitation, is exactly what she did.

* * *

Nick's nose was going haywire.

 _'Whatever that bunny is dreaming about is_ so _not PG-13.'_

It was getting increasingly difficult not to just turn around and creepily watch her nose twitch in her sleep.

The smell of earth, lavender and sweetness was getting worse ( _better)_ by the second. Nick knew if things didn't change - and change quickly - he'd end up doing something stupid.

What he didn't know however, was that that stupidity came only seconds later in the form of a high-pitched, longing whimper. Instead of going to open the window like he'd planned, the vulpine froze, staying so still and quiet one couldn't tell him apart from a statue.

His heartbeat, which had increased already substantially due to the bunny in the bed next to him, skyrocketed even further. The fox kept his eyes closed.

He wouldn't hear the end of this if her brain had registered the noise.

His muscles tensed when he heard her squirm in her sheets, supposedly turning so that she was now facing him.

' _You're fine, Nick. Just keep breathing,'_ he tried to calm himself, only to once again have her scent (pleasantly) invade his nostrils.

 _'Shit.'_

* * *

The digital alarm clock on the windowsill hit 03:01.

Judy stared intently at the dark form of the canid covered by the blanket, still unsure whether or not her ears were working properly. After all, it wasn't all too easy to believe that the Nick she'd known for over a year could act so… well, cutely.

Was he handsome (or more like mouth-wateringly hot)? Yes.

Was he charismatic and confident as hell? Definitely.

Was he caring, funny and an all around amazing mammal otherwise? No doubt about it.

But to say a fox of all mammals could be seen as cute from a bunny's perspective? Well that was something she found a bit difficult to process.

Her eyes, which had _slowly_ traveled down the full, sprawled-out length of his damn-blanket-covered body, quickly returned to the back of his head as another pained _(?)_ noise escaped him.

Her brain now fully awake, she fought back an " _Aww!"_ and quickly shot out of bed.

Unbeknownst to her, the fox secretly spied her retrieve something from the other end of the room before hastily putting his head back down just as she was about to turn around.

Her phone now in her paws, she tiptoed to the cheap airbed, careful not to step into the fox's hindpaws, which easily reached over the edge of the mattress. She opened the camera app.

Nick held his breath and concentrated on keeping his eyes closed.

 _'Had she been awake the whole time? Or did I wake her up? What is she doing just standing there in the middle of the night? Do I dare and take a peek?'_

Minutes passed with both mammals keeping their movements and breathing to a minimum.

It was with great disappointment that Judy eventually gave up hope of catching the vulpine's nightmare induced whimpers on tape and stopped recording.

She wasn't about to let this moment go to waste, however. There was a lot of potential for a new background for her phone in the view in front of her.

Taking a few careful steps over his paws and around the mattress, she crouched right in front of his face. Having found the perfect angle, she switched to regular photo mode and tapped on the screen to focus the picture.

There was a sudden flash of light.

Judy's heart dropped.

The fox was awake in an instant.

Confused emerald eyes met shocked amethyst ones.

Judy, still crouched and pointing her phone at his face, gave the tod a small wave of her paw. "Hi," she greeted awkwardly.

Nick blinked at her. "Carrots, what are you doing?"

Finally standing up and making an escape to her bed, she tried to come up with any half-believable cover-up story. For some reason however, her mind was stuck on the odd way her partner's eyes had shot open.

 _'Had he been awake this whole time?'_

Before she could find out the answer to that question though, her mouth was already blubbering. "Oh, I was just coming back from the bathroom and dropped my phone right by your bed and I'm sorry if I woke-"

"That was a camera flash, wasn't it?" he interrupted. His voice was steady and void of any emotion.

Burying deeper under her blanket, she didn't dare to face the fox. Her ears were unusually warm against her back. "No," she denied bluntly, "there's a storm coming. That was lightning. You just couldn't hear it with those useless foxy ears of yours."

 _'Wow, Judes, I knew you were a horrible liar, but wooow,'_ they both thought in unison.

Silence fell between the pair.

Nick was trying to piece together what had just happened.

Judy was guessing whether or not Nick knew what had just happened.

 _'Of course he knows. It's Nick after all.'_

The digital clock hit 03:05.

Neither mammal could rest.

The digital clock hit 03:08. They only had a few more hours before they'd have to get up.

It was at 03:21 that the tense silence was finally broken.

"Nick?"

"Mhmm?"

"It's getting really cold in here, don't you think?"

It was more of a statement than a question. A false one at that considering how she was burning under her fur.

To be fair, Nick wasn't fairing much better.

"Uhh, yeah, I guess it is," he replied, uncertain of what she was going for. "The window is already closed, though. Not much I can do for you."

Not that it was particularly cold outside, either.

"That's weird-", she hummed, once again turning to her other side to look at her partner, leaning on her other elbow, "'cause I sure can come up with at least one thing off the top of my head."

No doubt she was sporting a raging blush at this point.

Nick turned to look at her over his shoulder, his quizzical expression vanishing as he saw the bunny regard him with a small, nervous smile and serious, somehow hopeful and seductively inviting eyes.

Her nose was twitching, too.

And all he could do was to let out an almost breathless "Fluff?".

It was like he was a teenager again.

"Look, Nick. We can either pretend that I was just taking a picture of you so I could tease you, which is at least partially true-," she admitted, continuing in a more hushed tone, "or, you can get in here and help me, you know... get some shut-eye."

He must've been dreaming.

Slowly but surely, a smirk began taking over the fox's face, his eyes going half-lidded. He spoke all the while he got up and motioned her to scoot over. "What's the matter, Carrots? Can't sleep without your very own foxy plushie?"

She gave a little amused huff at that, making some room for him by her side. She couldn't believe he'd complied. "I'd tone down on that smug if I were you, Slick," she replied with surprising ease considering how her heart was hammering in her chest. "Don't think I can't see your tail wagging like crazy."

Just about to crawl next to her, he stopped on the edge of the bed and glanced at the appendage over his shoulder. "Traitor."

Judy laughed as the fox finally collapsed on his back next to her. He watched her with a fond gaze, her giggles eventually dying down. She met his eyes with equal warmth and a genuine smile.

"Get on your side," she said.

He did as commanded and soon the bunny had buried herself in his chest, her arms reaching around his torso.

Letting out an amused huff of his own, he pulled the covers over them.

She tried not to be too obvious about huffing in his musk while he had to keep his paws from traveling too far down her back on their own accord.

Afraid, excited, hopeful and - most of all - happy about the sudden change in direction their relationship had taken that night, the two snuggled tighter together, simply relishing the moment.

"Nick?"

"Yeah?"

Judy couldn't help but smile into the fluff of his chest. "I didn't actually mean it when I said your ears were useless."

He wanted to kiss her so badly.

But he'd made enough progress for one day as it was. If there was one thing he'd learned during his hustling days, it was to never get too greedy.

So, he settled for hugging her even tighter and wrapping his tail around her under the blanket.

"I know that, Fluff. In fact, I think you may even love them," he replied half-jokingly after a few moments.

"Hmm, I can never hide anything from you, can I?"

"What can I say? I'm sly as a fox."

"That you are. Good night, Nick."

"G'night, Judy."

It took mere minutes before fox and bunny alike had drifted off to unconsciousness.

* * *

The digital clock hit 05:35 with a disgusting and loud, continuous beeping.

A grey paw slammed the top of the device and the noise stopped. It was dark. She tried to roll only to realize that russet paws were keeping her captive. The previous night storming to the forefront of her memory, she smiled to herself and gave the fox a quick peck under his chin.

The fox gave an appreciative grumble at that and his tail seemingly wanted to wag under the covers.

"I'm calling us in sick for work," she told him.

"You know I love you, right?" came the reply.


	2. empathize1

[empathize]/1

* * *

He'd done nothing wrong.

Like throughout the prior five days – and long, restless nights alike – that was the single thought occupying his mind. Much unlike the lukewarm can of beer now spilled all around the parquet, they were words he held onto with his dear life. Words of comfort and reassurance. Words that spoke the truth.

Yet each time he tried to escape the snug hold of the white leather sofa, he was instantly overcome with a crushing sensation of guilt, hindering any attempts of getting up futile. Only necessities such as pain inducing hunger and the occasional call of nature were enough to force him up, but he'd always find himself back in the same exact spot eventually. There simply wasn't any motivation to drive him forward; no light to guide him in the surrounding darkness.

He needed her back – quick.

Lazily rolling onto his side, the fox reached for his phone that lay on the living room table, already biting down on the inside of his lip to distract himself from the pain that was sure to come. He wasn't surprised to find the lock screen empty of any other notifications than those of missed calls from his mother and Clawhauser from several hours ago. It gave the vulpine some consolation to see the two mammals show concern over him, even if neither of them could heal him fully.

He'd done nothing wrong, yet Judy, his best friend, wouldn't acknowledge his existence. Not once had she come to see him or even tried to call him, something she used to do each and every night prior to the events of last week. Her behavior had been – and against all his wishful thinking still was – beyond selfish, cruel and childish. Rather than show him support, the bunny had loaded his shoulders with gratuitous culpability. She'd betrayed him as his partner and, much more importantly, as his friend.

The red fox had every right in the world to be pissed at her, but all he felt was loneliness and desolation.

It was ironic in a sense: he'd sentenced himself to travel a path of psychological hell in order to save her life, only to have her abandon him for "crossing a line". He wasn't entirely surprised by how naïvely she'd approached what'd happened, but her reaction – leaving him to cope alone – had still been far over the top. Witnessing the gleam of life disappear from another mammal's eyes was naturally a trying experience to anyone, let alone an innocent and sweet little rabbit, but having to be the one to take that light away was arguably much worse. And she should understand that.

Should have a long time ago.

Green eyes turned to stare blankly at the device in his paws as he sat up on what had functioned as the coffin for his lifeless body for the past days. She'd turned down all his attempts at communicating with her, so _[w]hy would this time be any different?_

Nonetheless, he looked up her contact info and – after some major hesitation and staring at her profile picture with only slightly glinty corneas – pressed on the green dial that was displayed on the touch screen. Each of the following rings pained his mind more than the previous one, his ears occasionally flicking in nervous anticipation. Seconds passed agonizingly slowly as the vulpine simply waited for the inevitable, praying to hear her voice even if it was just to tell him off.

His hopes were eventually proven otiose as three short rings sounded from the phone. It was the result he'd expected. The one he'd gotten so many times before. The one he'd prepared for. And yet the one that still managed to wreck him inside out, leaving nothing but the pathetic ruins of what once was a fully happy and content vulpine.

Sneering, he tossed the cellphone halfway across the room and dropped his head to his paws. Whatever will he'd had to patiently wait for her apology and understanding was flung with the device as a new sentiment filled his heart: jadedness. He'd had enough of her antics and eating nothing but home-delivered pizza. He'd had enough of his slovenly apartment and wearing the same dirty clothes for days on end. He'd had enough of staring at his phone and debating if he should ask Bogo to assign him for another therapy session. The self-loathing had to come to a stop.

He'd worked too hard to let this shred everything apart.

* * *

"No, Mom! You call him if you're so desperate to sort everything out! I can tell you for sure I'm not goin- "

A quick objection from the other side of the line interrupted her, the elderly rabbit clearly confused and unhappy by what she'd just heard. Judy couldn't deny that there was some familiarity in having to argue on the same topic for days on end just to get her opinion heard by her elders, a common problem she'd had as a teenager aspiring to become an officer of the law.

This was one of the few days she wondered that maybe she should've listened to their warnings after all.

"Because I don't want to talk to him! Simple as that! I need to work this stuff out myself before I can even look at him," she finished with what she was proud to call only a slight tremble in her voice. There was no doubt in her mind her mother had taken notice of the fact, but the young doe was too emotionally drained to really care. All she wanted was the call to end so she could get back to restudying her very own copy of _Vehicle and Traffic Law of Zootopia_ \- not because she wanted to, but to get her mind off this exact subject.

Plopping her head back onto the pillow and resting her free paw on her forehead, the grey bunny listened halfheartedly to the endless stream of worries and pleads her mother had to bring to the table. At the very least the older rabbit was considerate enough not to derail the conversation to her relationship status again. She was really not feeling up to discuss how " _[i]t's complicated"_ was affecting her state of mind at the moment. That said, she wasn't all too certain what might happen to that status after she'd overcome this.

A tear, unable to stream down her cheek due to her posture, was simply dried in her sleeve.

"No, I'm seriously fine," Judy repeated for what felt like the dozenth time, regaining some control over her voice as she spoke calmly to the device, "All I need is a few more days to mull things over and I'll be back on patrol catching bad guys. Promise".

A long moment of silence – one caused by her mother's hesitance to let her daughter's persistence pass – ensued. Judy knew this was the last time she could use the same excuse.

 _"You_ need _to talk to him, sweetie."_

She closed her eyes, fighting back a slowly growing headache. "Maybe, but I'm not going to yet. He can take care of himself."

 _"Is that how you'd want him to think if the situation was the other way around?"_ her mother replied in a solemn and a slightly accusatory tone.

The younger doe tried her hardest to refrain from screaming - _tried_.

"No, but I'd also never have to worry about that since I never would have pulled the fucking trigger!"

The air around her felt heavy. Her eyes were wet behind closed lids.

"I'll call you back," was all she could force out before hastily ending the call. Her phone was dropped to the floor by shaky paws, ones that quickly moved to hide her face from the world. She was at her breaking point - again.

Calm, deep breaths turned to small sniffles. Those sniffles grew louder until they were joined by little moans of grief and agony. Sniffling turned into rapidly streaming eyes and a leaky nose and soon she was gasping for air in between her wails.

She wanted to forgive him, she really did. There was nothing Judy craved more than to curl up in that _damned_ fox's lap and talk things - _everything_ \- out, but her conscience was holding her back from doing so.

What kind of a mammal would she be if she could forgive and forget the killing of another person just like that. What kind of a cop would that make her?

No, she was furious at him - not only for not playing by the rules they'd agreed on when they'd become partners, but also for making _her_ the reason he'd decided to do so.

And _letting her know that_ not long after!

Gaining some control of herself as sadness and loneliness morphed back into anger and frustration, she got up from her bed and, after taking a quick glance at her faint reflection in the window, decided to get herself cleaned up. She couldn't spend days on end looking like a disheveled, wet mess anymore.

She didn't even make it to her bathroom when her phone, on the hardwood floor in between her bed and the carpet, rang again.

 _'What now?'_ she thought with no minor amount of annoyance, moving to grab the device. It buzzed in her paws as she glanced at the caller ID displayed on the screen.

It was that stupid, annoying, disgusting, immoral fox again.

Her brain immediately ordered her to try and crush the item until it was nothing but scraps. When the act proved futile, she opted to flinging it across the room instead.

The phone hit the wall with a bang and fell to the floor.

She was seething.

Her ears could pick up faint whispering coming from the apartment next to hers. A brief wave of embarrassment washed over her body as she made a mental note to apologize to her usually noisy neighbors for the way she'd been acting.

 _'Mom's right,'_ she decided, already pacing to get her jacket and keys. _'I do need to talk to him.'_

' _I'm just not going to tell him what she'd like me to.'_

Even with her mind clouded by anger, she still cringed at that thought, tears threatening to spill again.

 _'What_ I _wanted to.'_

* * *

If there ever had been a day Nick had yearned for a cloudy, dark sky and heavy rain, the red fox couldn't remember it.

The streets of Savanna Central were lively under the gentle rays of the evening sun. Mammals were outside enjoying what was left of a beautiful Saturday night in the company of delicious food, cold drinks, ice cream and most importantly, others. Kits and parents of all species laughed as they walked down the busy streets paw in paw. The sheer joy of everyone was enough to drown out the constant clamor of traffic, which in itself seemed to be at an all time low, too.

It was the exact type of sight that would have his partner swooning over the city.

Nick frowned, sticking out from the crowd like an elephant dressed as a clown in neon clothing. Seeing the entrance to the second subway platform, he briskened his step, feeling an immediate need to get off the surface of the Earth. He'd taken this exact route countless times before, yet it seemed like a trip through all things strange and unknown. Although he managed to keep his facade calm, inside he was anxious on infinite levels.

Practically running down the stairs that led to the underground system, he paid little attention to mammals around him. It took a minute or two for the next sub to arrive at the station and he rushed inside past the masses. Seeing as nearly all the seats were occupied and he really didn't want to socialize at that moment, he simply stood by the doorway, leaning into the cart's inner wall.

Nick had cherished his friendship with Judy for so long it had practically become the single important thing in his life. It was only natural he'd developed some very unexpected feelings toward the bunny during that time. From being a small-time crook to becoming an officer of the law, she'd inspired him to improve himself and make the world a better place every inch of the way. From keeping his family in the dark about his whereabouts and well-being to seeing his mother after what had felt like an eternity, Judy had been the one to give him the courage to reconnect with his family. She'd been the catalyst for everything great that had happened to him in recent months, and he couldn't appreciate her more for that.

In return, he'd given his everything to keep her day's filled with amusement and joy, never wanting to see her gleaming smile fade away.

And his body would need to be limp and cold before he'd let anyone take that smile away from the world.

Things had been perfectly normal until that point. They'd gotten called in for some lowlife trying to make a quick buck by emptying some grocery shop's cash register many times in the past and had rarely had any trouble bringing in the perpetrators. Very, _very_ few mammals in Zootopia owned or otherwise had access to a firearm, and even fewer were dumb enough to pull one on cops, so the risks of going in dry were minimal.

Also taking into account that his partner was somewhat infamous for taking even the most dangerous and massive crooks to the precinct using nothing but her tiny paws, it was safe to say they'd felt confident pulling up in front of the scene of crime facing nothing but a knife-wielding honey badger in his late teens.

They'd arrived to the scene quickly and had quipped about giving the kid a lesson.

The badger had been hastily unloading the cash register as they stepped out of their vehicle. He'd obviously noticed them coming but had been much more interested in stuffing more cash in his pockets.

Seeing that, Nick had gotten a bad feeling. He'd advised Judy to pull out her tranq-gun – something they rarely felt the need to use – and she'd obliged.

There had been three other mammals inside – a bison, a deer and another honey badger – all covering on the floor next to one of the shelves. He noted that the female badger was about the same age as the one behind the counter and not quite as terrified as the two other victims.

It had all happened so fast.

Judy had barely opened her mouth to address the robber when the other badger had reached into her crimson red leather jacket's breast pocket, pulled out a handgun and pointed it at the two officers.

He'd known that his partner hadn't had her tranq-gun pointed at her.

He'd known that even if she could've reacted in time _and_ hit her target, the substance would've still taken a few seconds to put the female badger down.

He'd known that he couldn't live with the guilt of having let her die.

The fox was startled by a bear's gigantic foot barely missing his snout as mammals of all sizes began exiting the cart and a new wave of passengers started entering. He joined the crowd heading for the sunlight. He'd already reached the steps when he heard it.

"Nick!"

His head whipped around to look at the rabbit staring at him with a nearly blank expression, only a small tint of sadness shining through. Mammals were hurrying up and down past him, some giving him dirty looks for being in the way. He didn't mind, though. His brain was fixated on something entirely different.

* * *

Judy made sure her expression was hostile and aggressive enough as she began her approach, moving across the platform in long strides.

He'd caught her totally off guard. Sure, she hadn't been expecting to find him at the subway station, but that wasn't the most surprising thing.

He looked like hell. Much worse than he had during their first case while he had still been practically living in the streets. His fur was sticking out in places she never could've imagined and looked greasy. His eyes were unfocused and looked about ready to close shut at any given moment. His clothes were crinkled and there was a stain the size of her paw on his shirt. Even the way he'd walked had looked off.

It all made her want to help him, but she wouldn't.

Reaching her target and grabbing him by his paw, she pulled him back down to the platform. She led him a little further away from the constant stream of mammals, knowing fully well they might attract an audience with what was about to take place.

Satisfied with the minimal privacy they now had, she finally turned around, only to find him smiling at her.

It really pissed her off.

"Nick. Don't you dare."

He seemed to understand the problem as the amusement soon faded away from his muzzle.

"Sorry, Carrots."

She didn't acknowledge the apology.

"Well?" she pressed on, looking him square in the eye.

"Well what?"

"What do you mean what? You were obviously coming to see me. What were you going to say?"

"Oh, right," he said, seeming as if he'd re-entered reality. "I wanted to talk to you."

Judy huffed. "Nick, you were calling me so often I was considering getting a restraining order. I know you wanted to talk, so here's your chance. Speak your mind."

She'd barely finished her sentence when he spoke, his voice adamant and void of any courtesy: "Why wouldn't you pick up?"

The bunny was confused. "That's the reason you waddle all the way here? To hear why I didn't want to talk to you?"

He didn't blink, didn't break eye contact. "Yes."

Judy threw her paws in the air and walked a small circle, unable to believe how stupid he was. She didn't know whether to laugh or shout at him, so she did a little bit of both.

"I was mad at you, Nick! What did you think I was going to say?"

He looked hurt. If she wasn't fuming, she might've even made out the small shine in his eyes.

"That's not good enough, Judy," he said in a small voice, barely detectable under the noise of the train arriving.

Of all the things idiotic and delusional, him wanting her to apologize must've been the winner.

"What do you mean _that's not good enough_?" she yelled, quite a few mammals turning their attention towards her. "You killed someone, Nick!"

The words caused a reaction around them, many words and gasps getting exchanged. Some were filming the incident.

The fox didn't mind too much. He'd been on the news plenty as of late to grow tolerant to the opinion of the general public.

He took a step closer to her, bending a little lower so that they weren't shouting at each other across the platform.

"She had a gun pointed at you," he stated in a hushed tone.

The doe looked about ready to give up with him.

The entire station was quiet.

"It wasn't loaded," she replied sternly and bluntly.

"And what if it had been?"

She didn't reply for a while. The beginnings of tears glimmered in her big eyes and her head was shaking in disbelief.

"I watched her brother witness his sister bleed out right in front of him," she spoke through her small sniffles and sobs. "Did that girl mean nothing to you?"

Nick, at the very edge of tears himself, stood up straight.

"We can't save them all, Judy."

" _Answer_ the _question_ , Nick!"

He flinched at the way she raised her voice at him. His paws went to tug the fur behind his ears before returning to his front, motioning all over himself.

"What is there left to answer, Judy?" he shouted, nearly sending spit flying at her face. "Look at me! I look like the definition of a car wreck with homeless mammals stuck in the middle! I've been dying inside ever since that day, and you were too hung up on your own misfortune to even return my calls! You acted like a kit with that silent treatment of yours!"

Judy stood in silence, her eyes falling to inspect the floor rather than the fox. She felt a lot of the built-up anger leave her shoulders.

Unfortunately, most of that weight was quickly replaced with guilt.

The reynard's eyes went to scan the circle of cameras around him before focusing back on her, glassy.

"You promised me you wouldn't betray and leave me like that again," he said, barely able to keep his voice from cracking.

Judy's misty gaze instantly raised to see him.

"You promised, Judy."

Her mouth opened but no words came out.

She was suddenly grasping at straws, trying so desperately to find some kind of counter-argument.

Had there been _anything_ they could've done different to prevent what'd happened?

Had her actions afterwards served as some kind of a lesson to the fox?

Could she have taken the shot if that's what it had to come down to?

* * *

Nick had had enough of watching the bunny just stand there slack jawed.

"You know what?" he said in a calm, somewhat collected tone. He turned around and started walking to the stairs again.

The crowd made way for him. No one dared to push the canid any further.

"Don't bother going to Finnick to ask where I'm at."

"I'm done with you."

A strong sense of dread rose in her chest. Her face twisted to a desperate one but the rest of her body froze.

Scenes of him walking through a flock of reporters and out the front doors of Precinct One flashed before her eyes.

He was right. She'd acted like a little kit.

She deserved every bit of punishment in the world for letting him down _again_.

Yet she couldn't bring herself to move. She wasn't comfortable with what he'd done.

If not for them, that honey badger would still be alive. There wouldn't have been any crying parents or a moment of silence at her school. There wouldn't have been a period of misery in her life, and, for all she knew, she could've instead been able to score the fox she'd loved as her mate.

She watched as his form slowly disappeared behind the roof of the stairway and into daylight.


	3. Those Darn Hopps Kits!

Those Darn Hopps Kits!

* * *

Judy was ecstatic, barely able to sit still. Sure, it had been a long time since she'd seen her family - four members of which sat in the car with her right now - but that was secondary to the real reason of her giddiness. To be honest, she wasn't sure if she'd make it through the weekend without exploding from the mix of anxiety and happiness.

"You did what?" came the expected shout from the passenger seat, her older sister, Eve, turning in her seat to look at her with wide eyes.

Smiling even wider and blushing a little harder, she didn't cower from the attention and simply stated again: "I kissed him at the station before I hopped on the train."

The rabbits surrounding her all looked bewildered, their noses twitching.

Another one of her three older sisters aboard the vehicle elbowed her in the side, her surprised expression having switched to a happy one.

"Way to go, Judes!" she said in a high-pitched voice that oozed with pride.

"Thanks, Addison."

"Wait, like, on the mouth?" Eve continued, her mouth agape.

Judy nodded eagerly.

"Did you get your tongue in there?" Addison leaned closer and asked, grinning.

"Eww, Addy," the youngest of the five siblings, Tyler, exclaimed. He turned away from her stupid sisters and concentrated on staring out the window, feigning indifference to the subject at paw.

They could all see his ears remain rigid and ready to pick up even the smallest whisper despite that.

The gray doe rolled her eyes at her brother's antics. Her blush wasn't getting any less noticeable, but she was too jazzed up to drop the topic. "It was our first kiss. I wasn't going to eat him alive," she answered, pausing to see the disappointed look on her sister's face.

"I did bite his lip, though."

This got another rise from her crowd. Even Ada, the oldest of the bunch and usually very void of emotion, gave her a snicker from behind the wheel.

"How do you-," Eve began, still looking flabbergasted. "I mean, how did you even do it? His muzzle must be like three times longer than yours."

"Yeah, but imagine how good it's gonna feel when you get him between your legs," Addison interrupted, denying Judy the chance to answer as the whole car erupted in noise.

"Seriously, Addy! Gross!" Tyler shouted, pulling his ears down to protect himself from further trauma. He'd known that going to pick up his sister would prove to be a terrible idea. If only his stupid parents understood the pain of having to live in the same burrow as some members of their family...

Addison herself burst out in laughter and fought off the slap attacks that the now beet-colored Judy sent her way. Ada merely glanced at them amusedly through the rear view mirror while her sister on the passenger seat reprimanded the pervert in the back.

"You're so immature, Addy! Grow up!"

Ceasing her assault and giving her still giggling sister a dirty look for good measure, Judy turned back to face the pale gray mammal on the passenger seat. "Honestly, it wasn't as hard as I thought it would be."

"I bet it wasn't as hard as he w-"

This time Judy could cover the beige bunny's mouth before she could finish her sentence.

That didn't stop her imagination though, and her cheeks maintained maximum redness levels.

"One more of those and you're walking the rest of the way," came the commanding voice of Ada. Though she looked very much like she was enjoying the show, Addison knew better than to test her limits.

"There's the killjoy we all love to hate," she retorted half-heartedly, mumbling through Judy's paw, which she then pushed away. She gave Judy a knowing look, one the gray rabbit quickly averted.

"How did he react?" Eve asked.

Fighting through her embarrassment and busy mind, she replied: "I'm not all too sure, actually. He did lean into the kiss but I just kinda ran off inside the train afterwards. I guess he seemed a little…"

"Dazed?" Addison offered.

"Yeah, that's a pretty good way to put it."

Her phone buzzed in her jeans pocket. There was a loud bling-sound that indicated a received text. Five pairs of long ears jumped up straight.

Her paw went to dig out the device and she immediately shielded the screen from curious eyes, much to her siblings' dismay.

"Oh, c'mon, Judes!" Addison whined. "At least tell us it's from him!"

Judy ignored the other passengers and her eyes scanned the pop-up notification.

 _'You hurt that shithead and I'm sellin your feet as lucky tokens on the deep web. r we clear, bunny cop?'_

She smiled at the message, knowing fully well that the fennec would indeed carry out the threat if such an event would come to be. It was heartwarming to know that Nick had family of his own, even if a little extraordinary.

"Well?"

"Nah, it was someone else," she said in return, hoping there wasn't too much disillusionment in her voice. She did want to hear back from her fox soon.

Sensing that her sister's disappointment was genuine, Ada decided to drop the topic. "How do you think Mom and Dad will react?" she wondered in a monotone.

Slipping her phone back to her pocket, she shrugged. "I guess we'll see once we get home. I don't think they'll mind too much. Nick's made a pretty good impression on them already, I feel like."

"Amazingly so."

"Addison!" Judy reprimanded her sister, though she couldn't hold back her own giggles. "He's not been _that_ bad on our visits!"

"You mean he gets worse?" Eve exclaimed disbelievingly. "Remind me why you're interested in him again?"

Judy laughed with her siblings. "You guys don't know the half of it!" she said, memories of his annoying idiocy surging to the forefront of her mind. She couldn't stop smiling. "But he can be pretty funny too, you know. Sometimes."

Silence fell upon the five siblings as the last of their giggles died down. It wasn't an awkward kind of silence, but a comforting one. It had been so long since Judy had gotten to share a moment like this with her siblings, even longer so since she'd been involved in girl talk. It brought back memories and made her happy to know she hadn't lost connection to her family.

She felt cared for, wanted and a part of something bigger.

"Are you going to settle down with him?"

Excluding Ada in the driver seat, everyone in the truck turned to look at Tyler in surprise. He was still looking out the window and didn't look like he wanted any part in another conversation.

Though a little caught off guard, Judy mentally scoffed at her brother. He had a long way to adulthood.

Not getting an answer, he turned around only to find three of his sisters gaping at him.

"What? Am I not allowed to ask questions?" he asked in an irritated tone.

"No, it's not that," Addison replied quickly. "It's just that we've never heard you contribute to a discussion in any normal slash intellectual way."

Judy, seeing the direction her sister was taking, decided to hold off on her answer and join in. "We were worried you'd born a little later than the rest of your litter, if you catch my drift," she said, acting somewhat remorseful.

"It would have explained why you thought urinals were for washing your paws until age-" Eve tried to continue only to be cut off by the recipient of the teasing grab her ear from the rear seat and pull on it. She let out a loud yelp and tugged the appendage out of his brother's hold. Her paws rubbed on the sore spot close to the top of her head while she stuck out her tongue at him.

"You guys are caking unbearable," Tyler murmured and turned back to the window, extra-cautious of an attempt at revenge from one of the does.

Ada, unable to keep her smile from showing, addressed the group: "C'mon, girls, let the kit off the hook. And Ty, you better watch your language or you'll be walking to the practice tomorrow."

The teenage buck sighed and shook his head at the threat, mouthing: "Whatever."

"What is it with you first litter kits and being buzzkills?" Addison asked halfheartedly.

"We've had to suffer through all of your insufferable, dangerous stunts," she replied calmly. "That's enough fooling around to last me a lifetime. Jude the Dude wasn't the only one running towards danger ever since she was little, believe it or not."

"It's like scary how much like Mom you've become, Ada," Eve stated.

The doe in question shrugged. "I don't mind."

"To answer your question, my dearest little brother" Judy interjected, continuing, "it's complicated. I need to consider how he feels about the whole thing before I can get ahead of myself."

Addison rolled her eyes. "Oh, for carrot's sake, Judy! Do you really have any doubt in your mind he doesn't want the same thing as you do?" she spoke, tired of her younger sister's uncertainty. "You two have been drooling after each other's tails for as long as I've known he existed!"

"She's right, Jude," Eve said. "The real question is if you _want_ to settle down with him. We all know you never quit until you get what you want."

Judy froze at that, her ears standing upright. She hadn't thought that far ahead. Well, she had, but those times had been more akin to fantasizing than rational planning. Was there even a future where she didn't want him by her side?

Addison and Eve stared at her intently.

"Yes," she answered confidently after some seconds of thinking. The decision felt almost too easy to make. "Yes, I do."

Addison threw her arm over her shoulders, drew her a little closer and placed her head to the crook of her neck, rubbing against it affectionately. "We're so glad for you, Judes," she said in a controlled manner. "Hopefully everything works out for the best."

"And if it doesn't, you'll just make it work," Eve added.

Ada hummed in approval. Tyler stared out the window.

The comforting moment was left in the past quickly as Addison used her close proximity to her advantage and whispered: "You've done your research, right?"

Judy's eyes widened and her blush appeared once more. She pulled her ears in front of her face.

She knew _exactly_ what her sister was referring to.

* * *

Next up [empathize]/2


	4. empathize2

[emphatize]/2

* * *

Judy had been standing motionless for what must've been minutes. The mammals who'd been spectating or capturing the argument on video were slowly starting to scatter and go about their own ways.

There were a couple more invested ones in the bunch, it seemed.

"Aren't you gonna, you know..." a young antelope – seemingly a student – began carefully, her phone still in her hoof and pointed at Judy.

Fighting through the pain in her chest, she turned her attention to the stranger and spoke in a small sounding voice. "What?"

"Like, run after him or something?"

Judy stared at the doe blankly.

"I don't want to offend anyone here, but that's not how you finish an argument," she said a bit more confidently now that the rabbit wasn't in instant kill mode anymore. "He's a dumbass for walking away and you're an even bigger idiot if you let him."

Her stomach lurched and twisted at the idea of letting him go. If she didn't move quick, she would most likely never see her fox again.

But she couldn't lift her feet off the ground. He'd hurt her, intentional or not. And while it maybe didn't compare to how badly she'd treated him as a result, she couldn't bring herself to forgive him.

The antelope seemed to notice the conflicting emotions invading her head as she spoke again: "Look, rabbit. You can always cut ties with someone when you want. But the options he gave you sounded pretty indefinite. Either you go out there and you chase him down, or you let him leave and maybe never see him again. It's up to you."

Her head snapped to the bovid and her ears revealed themselves from behind her back.

Was she still angry at Nick? Yes, yes she was.

But if she ever came to regret letting him walk away like she'd regretted her press conference, she wouldn't see another happy day in her life.

Determination washing over her, she steeled herself and darted for the surface. Her legs carried her through the crowd and up the busy stairs. She heard one or two pairs of footsteps behind her, but being a small and agile bunny meant that she was out of the tunnels much before the paparazzis.

There was a problem, though. She couldn't see Nick.

Her eyes darted back and forth, searching for flashes of fiery orange or a particularly distasteful Hawaiian shirt. The streets were just as lively as they had been when she'd left her apartment. Bright smiles, families and laughter surrounded her. There was an endless stream of mammals passing by her, preventing any hope of having a sightline further than her forearm.

Another feeling of panic started kicking in, a tightness in her chest.

She yelled his name.

"Nick!"

She spun around frantically, her brain trying to figure out where Nick would go to vanish while her eyes kept looking.

"Nick, wait!"

Since he'd taken the sub, his apartment was too far away for that option to make sense. There were a number of different bars and restaurants around that they were both familiar with from their unofficial dates, but with the current happy atmosphere of Zootopia and its citizens, she doubted he'd want to stick around too many mammals. The precinct was within a walking distance too, but she couldn't figure out a reason for him needing to go there.

However, while a longshot, it was her only option. There was no way she'd be able to find him on foot.

The fastest members of her camera crew had just surfaced when she took off running, leaving the mammals panting and muttering curses under their breaths.

Even with the streets overcrowded, she reached her workplace in record time. Pushing through the front doors, she rushed towards the front desk.

"Clawhauser!"

Hearing this, the chubby cheetah quickly excused himself to whoever he'd been chatting to over the phone and ended the call. His expression was a mix of relief and excitement.

"Hi there, Judy!" the cheetah greeted with his usual upbeat tone. It had been a while since he'd seen the bunny. It was good to know she was still among the living. "How have you've been holding up?"

She stopped in front of the desk. There was no time for small talk.

"Have you seen Nick?"

Confusion and worry immediately filled the desk officer's voice. "Is there something wrong?" he asked, now inspecting the hasty rabbit a little more carefully, a careful smile on his face.

"Please just answer the question, Ben," she pleaded.

Caught off guard by her strange behavior, the cheetah thought on his feet. "No, he hasn't been to the-"

Judy jogged towards the stairs before he was able to finish, leaving a perplexed Clawhauser in her wake.

"-station since last week."

Many steps and strides later, Judy had entered chief Bogo's office – much to his surprise.

"Hopps!" he exclaimed, his phone nearly flying from his hooves as he flinched in his chair. Setting the device down, he lifted his reading glasses back on his muzzle all while glaring daggers at one of his finest officers.

The anger, however, quickly subsided as a feeling of empathy gained control. It had been five grueling days for the entire police force, but he knew how much worse it must've been to her and her partner. Experience taught as much.

So, he held back on any threats on her career.

"Sir, has Nick been in contact with you?"

He could sense the weight behind her words.

"No, officer Wilde hasn't contacted me after his temporary-"

"I need to find him," came the interruption. Judy tried her best to look calm and collected, like she was simply trying to complete an assignment, but she knew her facade was failing. The panic was starting to overflow.

Her superior gave her a gruff exhale. "Explain," he said tiredly.

"He-" she began, only to swallow her words and reform her sentence. " _I_ -" she corrected, trying her damndest to keep her eyes dry. "-didn't see him once after the shooting until today. We had a fight about fifteen minutes ago and he left and said I wouldn't see him again."

Bogo looked at the small rabbit in silence for a moment. His officers meant a lot to him and as much as he wanted to help, there were restrictions even he had to follow.

"Hopps, I'm sure you're aware that the force doesn't offer couples' counselling."

"Chief, all I need is a unit searching his apartment and for the others to keep an eye out on patrol."

The buffalo leaned back in his chair, which squaked under his weight. "I'll notify the officers on duty, but will not do the former-" he lifted his hoof to shush the rabbit who was about to protest, "-without a good reason."

Her brain was racing before he'd finished the sentence. She was pulling on her ears, which lay on her back. Her face was scrunched up and her eyes were shut.

Finally, she had her solution.

"He's suicidal!" she shouted much too exultantly. It didn't matter to her in the slightest, nor did the fact she was abusing the city's resources to fix a personal problem.

Bogo's calm composure didn't falter, not that it surprised her. "What makes you think that?"

Her response was imminent and a little enthusiastic: "He said I shouldn't waste my time asking his friend where he was!"

Bogo knitted his brow.

"Please, Chief," she begged. "I promise it makes sense."

He let out a long sigh.

"You'll be on parking duty for the rest of your career if I lose my position over this," he said in a low monotone and picked up his desk phone.

Judy's ears jumped up at that and she went to sprint out of the room, a little more hopeful than before. "Thank you so much, Sir!"

"Hopps!"

Pushing the door open, she turned to her boss one more time.

"Good luck."

* * *

She'd looked everywhere.

Every restaurant, every coffee shop and every pizzeria he'd showed her. Every movie theater, every beach and every park they'd visited together. Every bar, every night club and even every strip club she could find on her phone.

No fox.

She'd searched the entire city. The problem was that there was much more to the city than what she knew about. She was aware of this.

And also exhausted, both physically and mentally. The adrenaline that had shielded her from the terror of the situation had worn off. Her body was shaking feverishly and her feet were aching from all the running she'd done. There was a lingering pain in her hip with every step she took and the night was slowly but surely getting cool. Her nose was running and she had to keep rubbing her eyes to maintain her vision.

Walking was her only escape from a complete breakdown, so she walked.

It was late. On a normal day she'd already be in bed getting ready for another eight or so hours of fighting crime and serving the citizens of her beloved city. With her (beloved) partner.

She sniffled.

The streets were quiet. Few shops were still accepting patrons. The happy families had vanished and been replaced by night shift workers and a colorful variety of drunken mammals.

Maybe she'd join the group tomorrow once she was done pressure washing her tear canals.

Judy walked. Stopping would mean giving up, which meant she'd never see Nick again.

She wasn't mad anymore. Well, maybe she was, but only at herself. She couldn't believe she'd let him slip away. All the times she'd found it difficult to believe he was not only her friend but her partner. All the times she'd fawned over him late at night when his smile had prevented her from sleeping. All those times had been thrown out the window as she'd stood there gaping at the subway exit.

She sniffled.

And for what? Her refusing to accept the fact that their profession didn't exclude death? She'd read and heard stories of officers being killed in car crashes, detainees dying of asphyxiation, innocent bystanders dying of gunshot wounds and so on. Yet she still had trouble wrapping her head around him shooting someone possibly trying to kill them.

He'd been doing his job.

She couldn't save them all – no matter how much she wanted to.

He'd been doing their job. She'd acted like a dumb bunny.

Another sniffle left her as she passed a closed corner store. The inside of the display window was covered with recent newspapers, which in turn were filled with pictures of Nick – both in and out of uniform.

She finally stopped. Her wet eyes fell on the fox. She didn't bother reading the headlines as she knew them by heart already.

There was a picture of him standing in front of the precinct in his civils, looking dull and empty. That one had been taken the day of the shooting. The reporters stalking him hadn't come as a surprise to the fox and he'd managed to look as if he had it together.

Another newspaper had gone with a side-by-side comparison of Nick and the honey badger's pictures. The fox clad in blue looked serious and his eyes were hidden behind a pair of his favorite sunglasses. The "victim" on the other hand was smiling brightly with her accomplice kissing her on the cheek. Judy had no doubt it was a profile picture pulled from the badger's social media.

There was also a picture with her in it – one taken at Nick's graduation ceremony. They stood side by side in their dress blues and both wore giddy expressions. The photo was radiating happiness.

Tears rolled down her cheeks. She wished to return to that exact moment. She wished she could do things different. Nick was the one thing in Zootopia more important to her than her job and now he was gone.

Judy stood there in the empty street, breathing in the chilly air in long and unsteady gasps, her eyes locked on the fox's handsome and captivating smile.

If only she could just faint right then and there and let unconsciousness make her forget about everything that had happened.

But no, she needed to get back home.

Broken in both the physical and emotional sense, she sniffled once more, forced her eyes and mind off her soon to be ex-partner, and began walking again.

She'd given up.

* * *

Whether she was shaking because of how cold it was or the fact she was far from being done dealing with the vanishing of her closest friend, she didn't really care. Her steps were sluggish and short, her feet dragging on the cool concrete as she walked. Her posture was slouched forward and her eyes inspected the ground.

Shower, crying in the shower, then bed. That was her plan.

Tomorrow would come eventually. Even if the wait would be painful.

She nearly stumbled on the stairs to her apartment building. The door felt heavier to pull open than usual. The elevator ride seemed to last an eternity. There was no feeling of warmth or coziness as she entered her flat.

She couldn't fight back the wave of new tears and sobs. Her small whimpers turned into wails.

" _Rough day, rabbit?"_

Judy ignored her neighbors and opted to collapse on her bed, pressing her face into a pillow to muffle her cries. She didn't have the energy to deal with them at that moment.

" _Can you not hear her, you idiot!"_ came the hushed, but nearly crystal clear voice of Pronk. " _Obviously she's had a rough day!"_

The follow-up from Bucky was oddly close to instant. " _Yeah, yeah. Hey, rabbit, you hungry?"_

Her head snapped to stare at the wall in disbelief. What kind of a question was that? Was it not clear enough she needed to be left alone? That she'd been through hell that whole day and wanted to disappear off the face of the planet? That even thinking right now was hard enough, not to mention interacting with others.

Was it that obvious she was starving?

Sniffling a few times, she forced herself to speak. "How come?" she asked in a small, uneven voice.

 _"We were just about to order some pizza and you sound like you could use some."_

She hesitated for a moment. No matter how hungry she was, she didn't want to bother getting the food – even if that meant just opening the door and paying. She could bear the hunger until morning if she just went to the shower right away and got some sleep.

Not that she was expecting to get any.

 _"Our treat,"_ Pronk added, cutting the silence short.

Judy had to give in. Perhaps a pizza could fill the hole in her heart, too.

"Spinach, broccoli and artichoke, please," she mumbled, defeated.

" _Artichoke? Did I hear that right?"_

"Mhm", she hummed in response, making a beeline to her bed and flopping right on it.

" _It's not my pizza you're ruining, I guess"_ , the oryx said in a quiet voice.

" _She doesn't have to like the same toppings as you, idiot!"_ , the kudu chimed in.

" _Yeah, yeah, whatever, food's coming right up, bunny!"_

" _Try and stay alive until then, neither one of us is eating that disgusting creation you've come up with!"_ came the final shout from her neighbors.

She very nearly chuckled at the jab. The next moment had her shut her eyes tight to prevent more tears flowing, however.

There was a sting deep in her chest. She felt hollow.

As if the world she knew and loved had ended.

There was nothing out there for her anymore.

She sniffled.

* * *

" _Pizza's here!"_

A series of loud knocks at her door startled the bunny back awake. She was surprised she'd dosed off, not to mention how quickly she'd done so. Then again, the day _had_ been draining – in more ways than one.

She rubbed her eyes with one paw. Her face must've looked like a mess, judging by all the moisture around her eyes and the fact her nose was still runny from all the crying. She didn't care though. It was just a twenty second interaction with a pizza delivery guy who'd most likely seen mammals in worse condition than her in his line of work.

Another two knocks got her to stand up and hurry to the door in exasperation.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm coming", she huffed out as she grabbed her wallet from her jacket which lay on the floor next to the door.

" _Better come faster or it'll get cold and all moldy"_ , came the response from the hallway, and Judy froze in place.

There was no mistaking that voice.

" _And I'm not going to embarrass myself twice ordering artichoke on a pizza."_

Her wallet hit the floor in an instant and the door to her apartment almost came off its hinges as she opened it. Her eyes went wide and her jaw hit the floor as she took in the sight of Nick leaning into the wall with three takeout boxes with him. Surprise and relief overwhelmed her and she barely managed to prevent herself from throwing herself at him.

He eyed her up and down in silence. She looked much worse for wear than before.

They stared at each other for a good moment, both expecting the other to take the initiative.

A gentle hoof tapping on Nick's shoulder brought their contest to an end.

Bucky stood up straight, cleared his throat and turned his gaze to the pizzas.

The gears in Nick's head began turning once again and he handed over two of the carton boxes.

"Thanks for the help", he said, watching the kudu retreat to his apartment.

"Anything for a free pizza", Pronk amusedly stated from the doorway before being pushed inside by his husband.

The rabbit and fox's gazes met once more.

Nick's other paw went to rub the back of his neck and he shifted on his feet. He couldn't remember a time when he'd been so tense talking to someone.

"I, uhh-", he started, desperately working the words inside his head into something sensible. "I think we should talk."

Judy felt as if she was frozen. It took all her willpower just to frantically nod her head a few times.

"Sooo, can I come in?"

The inquiry confused her to no end until she realized she was still standing in the middle of the doorway like an idiot.

Stepping aside, she motioned him to enter.

Nick didn't hesitate and walked inside. Judy shut the door behind him, staying near the threshold. He set the pizza on her table in the corner of the room, opting to lean on it instead of sitting on the bed like he usually did.

Despite the cramped space that was the apartment, the distance between them couldn't have felt any further.

"You knew I was going to chase you, didn't you?" Judy stated more than asked, her face as blank as her voice. "And you bribed my neighbors to give you a call when I got back."

The corners of the his lips curved into a ghost of a smile. His eyes stayed guarding the floorboards. "You're a great detective, Fluff, I gotta give you that, but no. That's not entirely true."

"Why's that?"

His tail swished to the other side of his legs, almost as if it was looking to hide. "I only _hoped_ you were going to try and find me."

Just the brief, pained glance he gave her was enough to break her heart, not to mention how much the words hurt. Her lip quivered on it's own and she had to bite on it to keep her composure.

"I came here right away in case you, you know, didn't want to see me again", he added.

"Nick", his name came out of her mouth almost as a squeak. She took a small, careful step closer, unsure if by decision or sheer instinct. "You've sat outside my door the whole day?"

Finally raising his head, he didn't meet her gaze, but instead turned his attention to the terrible view her apartment had of the nextdoor building's brick wall.

"I would have if it hadn't been for those two." He gestured to the wall opposite of him. "Apparently pacing in the hallway for hours straight is somehow a _major annoyance_ to the residents! Can you believe that?"

There was a shout from the other apartment, muffled not by the wall between them, but the food inside the speaker's mouth. " _Don't forget the whining!"_

Taking another step, the bunny gave a smile at the comment and the subsequent roll of the fox's eyes. As selfish as she knew it was, she was beyond the moon to know that Nick had cried – or whatever whining was the equivalent to – over her. Presumably, at least.

She stopped, and her smile faded in an instant.

Selfishness.

She'd nearly lost Nick because of it. And now she was about to walk down the same path again?

No. Not again. Right now she needed to be the friend she hadn't been.

Despite her promise.

Quickly recalculating her route, she took a hard left and plopped down on her bed, pizza box in her lap. Nick turned to look at her in confusion, and she, wearing a small smile, patted on the counterpane.

He raised a brow but ultimately, after a quick and very obvious sniffle and a rub of the eyes, sat down next to her, leaning back with his arms supporting him against the mattress. His head was tilted back, giving her a poor sight on his expression.

"Nick", she said in a soothing tone, turning to look at him with her ears halfway down. She had to repeat herself to gain his attention.

Judy made sure her eyes conveyed as much emotion as they could as she stared into his emerald ones. Her paw found his forearm and rested on it.

"I'm sorry, Nick."

He said nothing. It was like he'd turned into a statue.

"I've learned my lesson", she continued. "I shouldn't have left you alone. I should've been there for you."

Her gaze turned to the window and her ears lowered to rest against her back.

"What happened that day was horrible, and I still haven't come to terms with that kind of thing being a part of our job", she paused, feeling yet another tear forming. She swallowed. "But I know it was out of our control, and I know you would've done things differently given the chance."

Her paw on his forearm moved to capture his and squeezed on it. She looked back at him, taking note of his eyes looking glassy, too.

"But most importantly", she forced out in a small, shaky voice, "I know I shouldn't have let you walk out of that subway."

Nick blinked at that a few times. "Carrots..."

She had to sniffle. "I put myself first by ignoring you for a whole week. And then", she sniffled again, "when you finally confronted me about it, I still wouldn't see how badly I'd hurt you."

For the second time that night, Nick didn't have the right words. He'd always been proud of his silver tongue, but with this bunny... things never seemed to come simple.

A brief silence filled the apartment before Judy kept going, managing to hold back her crying just enough to speak coherently.

"I really thought I wouldn't see you again after you left", she nearly whispered.

The look in those beautiful, cute, violet eyes nearly gave her a heart attack. If there had ever been a time he'd been more hopeful about his feelings for her being mutual, he couldn't recall it.

Sitting up straight, he threw his arm around her shoulders, pulled her closer and captured the paw that had been squeezing his in his other one. He tilted his muzzle to point at the base of her other ear and spoke in a soft, albeit unsteady, voice. "It's fine, Judy. I understand."

He mentally debated on giving the top of head a light peck, but ultimately decided against it.

"All I care about is that you came back and apologized. The rest is behind us now, okay?"

The rabbit nodded her head, her sniffles calming down a notch.

"I forgive you."

She tilted her head to look up at him, their muzzles ending up dangerously close to one another.

Judy could've sworn that he looked like he wanted to lean in closer almost as much as she did.

Nick could've sworn that she looked like she wanted to lean in closer almost as much as he did.

She was the first to close her damp eyes and take the leap of faith, although he wasn't far behind.

Their lips met in a gentle kiss that lasted not longer than a moment. Judy's ears stood up in alert and Nick's arm fell from her shoulders to rest on the bed awkwardly. Their eyes opened to inspect each other's in utter confusion, dread and bliss. They pulled away with steadily worsening blushes.

Simply sitting still felt unnatural and challenging but also like it was the only thing they wanted to be doing at that moment, right there, next to each other. Neither of them said a word for a good while. Neither of them knew what to do with what had just happened.

Judy was the first one to move and opened the box containing her by now lukewarm food. "You want some pizza?" she said meekly, nudging his arm and holding a slice in front of him.

Looking more than just caught off guard, he turned to look at her and then the slice.

Apparently they were going to ignore it – for now.

"This isn't you trying to get revenge by poisoning me, is it?" he quipped, a grin starting to wash away the earlier gloom in his expression.

Judy noticed him give an artichoke a long, dubious look before accepting the fat-rich treat. Her gaze lingered on his lips for unnaturally long.

"It's not going to kill you, Nick", she chuckled lightly, watching him nibble on his food. "Judging by the way you look, it's probably the healthiest thing you've eaten in a week."

Conversation starting to flow more naturally, both bunny and fox let out an internal sigh of relief and for a moment, forgot about everything but the present.

"My lawyer has advised me not to comment on that, officer Hopps", he responded in an instant. "Thanks for letting me eat the food I paid for though. That's very sweet of you."

She landed a playful punch on his shoulder.

Then, with her heart thumping a little too hard for her liking, rested her head against that same spot.

* * *

With the pizza devoured, the carton box was dumped under the bed and the two weary mammals were left leaning against each other in contentment.

Judy was troubled though. It was time to do what she had avoided for all too long.

She took a deep breath, and opened her mouth to speak.

But he beat her to it.

"They're going to bury her next week, Judy."

She could feel him tense up. She wrapped her arms around his torso and buried her face in his shirt.

Good thing her species had big ears, because she had some listening to do.

They'd get through it and heal.

They always did.


End file.
